Monday, January 30, 2006
Not hard to see through ppl's actions...
Zzz
Wishing...; 1/30/2006 03:40:00 AM
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Sunday, January 29, 2006
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!!! Hope it'll be a great year ahead for all of us. Since i hadn't made any new year resolution for 2006, maybe its time to make some...
First up, punctuality. I'm gonna be punctual (repeats 10x). Not that i'm always late, but I just don't like to be late and it sometimes really irritates me when people are late. Not because they are late but more of what they did. Like those who :
1) Don't pickup calls/ reply smses and leave ppl oblivious to their whereabouts
2) Don't tell ANYONE that they're going to be late or worse still, not coming and make people wait for god knows how long..
3) Don't ask anyone anything but expects people to tell them automatic everything (not really related but it contributes!)
I'm not going to be those kind of people who thinks 'since everyone is going to be late, i might as well be late too'. I really apologise if i happen to be late. As a secondary point, i don't want to wait more than 30 minutes for anyone anymore. If you wanna be that late, so be it. IF i happen to be THAT late, i also won't want my friends to stand around like dumb !@#$s waiting.
Next, maintain contacts with old friends. Sounds pretty simple, but when everyone is bogged down with work and studies and all, such commitments are really strained. Quoting from someone, 'I want to be remembered, even if its only by one person'. I still remember you guys! Even though i haven't contacted you all for ages. :)
Yup, Think these should be enough. I don't make new year resolutions ever anyway, but i'm making this year an exception. Yup, this is the first time i'm making new year resolutions (as far as i can recall anyway). So maybe they'll have a higher chance of working :).
I know i've said this many times before, but i'm going to repeat it again anyway. IT REALLY IRKS ME OFF WHEN PEOPLE DONT REPLY. From my point of view, its basic courtesy to at least REPLY SOMETHING. I can't imagine how hard it is to do just type something like, 'Sorry i'm busy right now, ttyl.' Definitely less than a minute. And don't tell me to put myself in other's shoes, because I can never do that, and neither can you. I mean it.
Time to slp :).
Happie chinese new year to everyoneeeee~
Wishing...; 1/29/2006 04:07:00 AM
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Saturday, January 28, 2006
Argh!! Crappy dayyy for meee... Booked out damn late today cos someone is busy partying at offier's mess while everyone damned soul is waiting for his signature to clear arms.
Not to mention a day full of sai gang from morning till evening...
AND I FORGOT TO BRING MY MUSIC PLAYER OUT OF CAMP!!! NOOOOOooo!! I'm soooo dependent on it!!! How do i pass waiting time without musicccccccccc! :(
Crap. Off to sleep bubyeee.
Crappy new year eve's eve
Wishing...; 1/28/2006 02:48:00 AM
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Friday, January 27, 2006
Crap, maintenance timings and all always happen at the worst possible times (like when you actually wanna do something). Like, blogger just had this 30 min scheduled maintenance. Now i'm too tired to type my post so i'll continue next time. Till then...
Timings
Wishing...; 1/27/2006 12:33:00 AM
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Thursday, January 26, 2006
Been very tired recently. I've no idea why. Even during nighttime when i would usually use the com till lateeeeeeeeeeeeeeee into the night.
Like, i slpt at 9pm on monday. Thats definitely not weibinish.
11pm on tues night? Something must be wrong..
I have no idea what. Its been quite a while since i slpt that much in a go :P
Lethargic Spell.
Wishing...; 1/26/2006 12:27:00 AM
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Monday, January 23, 2006
kohaku ni somaru michi ashiato wo kizande
koko made yatto kita kyou mo mae dake wo mitsumete
On this amber-paved road
I etch my footsteps,
I've finally come this far--
Always looking straight ahead.
Ah jikan dake ga watashi yori hayaku sotto toorisugite
furikaetta keshiki aoku kagayaita
Ah, time alone is faster than I,
Quietly passing along,
I look back
At the glittering blue landscape behind me.
deaeta inochi aru subete no mono [1]
dakishimetai to omou
kono ooki na kawa... nagasarenu you
kokoro wo hitotsu ni shitai
datte minna onaji tabibito
Every living thing that I have met, [1]
I want to hold them tight in my arms,
So they won't be swept away by this great river...
I want our hearts to join as one
For, in the end, we are all travelers.
sora ni wa katamuita mikkadzuki ga umarete
mayowanai you ni to ryoute sashinobete kureteru
Slipping into the sky, the crescent moon is born
It stretches out its arms to me, so that I won't lose my way.
Ah hito wa itsumo taiyou no you ni
sotto kieta ato mo atarashii sugata de dareka wo terasu
Ah... people are just like the sun,
Even after quietly vanishing, they turn into a new form
To shine on someone else.
deaeta inochi aru subete no mono
ai wo oshierareta
kono ooki na kawa... tsudzuku kagiri
ayamachi wo osorenaide
aruite yuku watashi tabibito
Every living thing that I have met
Taught me how to love,
As far away as this great river reaches...
I'll not be afraid of making mistakes
And keep walking... as a traveler.
tsukareta nara tachidomattemo ii
sou ashimoto ni saku hana no you na jibun rashii ikikata...
If you're tired
Then it's okay to stop for a while,
Yes, for you have your very own way of living
Just like those flowers blooming at your feet...
meguru inochi aru subete no mono
dakishimetai to omou
kono ooki na kawa no saihate ni
daremo ga tadoritsuku made
sorezore ni ikiru tabibito
Every living thing that exists around me,
I want to hold them tight in my arms,
So until each one of us reaches
The very end of this great river,
We'll live, each in our own way, as travelers.
Shimokawa Mikuni - Kohaku
Wishing...; 1/23/2006 05:30:00 AM
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Baahhh! What a waste of my freaking time. Ask me to go back camp on weekends to whhututtt, WAIT?!?!? More than half the time inside was spent lazing around (not that i'm inside for long anyway). GRRRRR, sassuga!
I don't know how to say it out, but somehow, i feel that all the troubles i have are gone when i'm busy. Like say, even when i'm in ns, when i'm busy doing my work, i'll not be reminded of all the shit i experienced. Kinda like a workaholic, drowning myself in work in order to forget, but it doesn't last anyway because i finish up work too fast ><. Perhaps thats why i don't like to be doing nothing, or being alone. Gives me something to occupy myself with.
Anyway, today we went to visit ZH who's warded in nuh because of some bacterial infection. Entertained him for a while before heading to marina square for dinner ar Carl's Jr. and some talk cock session at coffee bean.
I found the conversation about dreams quite interesting. Talked about things like, Dreams are a reflection of yourself, what you really are or wanna say even though you yourself might not know it. Or that its actually saying something about yourself and your actions. So that got me thinking of the dream-filled nights (or dreamless nights) i had since i was young. Maybe its true afterall, from all the dreams i ever had and the emotions coursing through me at those points in time.
Bleah, very tired, somehow lost my train of thoughts on what i wanted to write down. I'm quite surprised how i managed to last thru the weekends with like...3-4 hours of slp on average a day for the last week.
Anyway, i must be off to sleep. Can't afford to be late tomorrow..err...today...Anyway, hope ZH gets well soon :)
Tired
Wishing...; 1/23/2006 12:06:00 AM
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Sunday, January 15, 2006
Here i am blogging at this time of the day again. Everyone is offline (and should be sleeping) now and i'm having troubles keeping my concentration on watching anime. Very tired today.
Got to do a lot of things tmr but can't find ppl to accompany me. Everyone is so busy nowadays, but i'm like...so free. At least thats what i would choose to think
:(
Anyway did i ever tell anyone before that i don't really like going out in big groups? Generally prefer smaller groups (around 4-5 peeps) because in bigger groups, there's bound to have ppl who MIGHT feel left out, and i don't like it when that happens. I experienced it before and i know how it feels, not exactly a terrific feeling to experience.
I'm always so bored. Always seeking company. People tell me that i need and should have time for myself but its when time like this i really really really feel that i already had too much time for myself. Life's too boring for me to spend alone.
Dictionary meaning of hypocrisy : 1) The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2) An act or instance of such falseness.
I don't know why i put that last para up but i just wanted to anyway. So, are people who don't bluntly tell others that they suck because they're afraid that they might hurt the other party's feelings hypocrites too? Like when they tell their friends what they really feel about a particular person. Not in a malicious way of course. To me, they're not.
Because i do that too, and everyone else does that. Doesn't that make the whole world hypocrites? :P
Blah, the late nights are taking their tolls on me...i'm off to sleep...hopefully :P
Late night entry
Wishing...; 1/15/2006 04:24:00 AM
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Anyway I recently downloaded the opening theme of Blood+, like the song a lot...so here it goes :
Aozora no NAMIDA
Lyrics: Takahashi Hitomi, Watanabe Natsumi Music: Tanaka Hidenori
Hitorikiri kurayami no naka
Kimi no namida no imi wo shitta
Negau basho fumi dashi takedo
Daremo kizutsuketaku nakute
Umi wo wataru kaze wa kyou mo
Mayowazu ni ashita ni mukau no ni
Kokoro wa doushite ugoki dase nai
*Donna unmei ga matte irun darou
Kuya mitaku nai yo umareta koto
Kanashimi no naka ni yuuki ga aru
Kagayaki tsukamu to shinjite iru
Furi shikiru aozora no namida
Itsu no hi ka egao ni kaeru yo
Isogi ashi oikaketa kaze
Yubi no aida wo surinuketeku
Shinjiru koto mada kowai kedo
Todomaru koto wa mou shinai
Tsuki ga sotto kata wo tataki
Minamo utsushitekureta kiiromichi
Mayou koto sae wasurete yuku yo
Nanimo nai asu ga matte itemo
Nanika wo umidasu te ga aru kara
Kimerareta michi mo kaeteyukeru
Tsuyoi omoi ima komi ageteru
Koboreteta aozora no namida
Ashita ni wa kitto hareru kara
Miageta saki he to
Aruki daseru hazu
Dokomademo yukeru
Jibun naku sa nai nara
*Repeat
Furi shikiru aozora no namida
Itsu no hi ka egao ni kaeru yo
[Go Back]
The Blue Sky’s Tears
Lyrics: Takahashi Hitomi, Watanabe Natsumi Translation: Tabesuke
In the darkness of being alone
I knew the meaning of your tears.
I embarked to a place prey,
I don’t want to hurt anyone
The wind blowing over the ocean,
Not getting lost today and heading towards tomorrow,
But somehow my heart won’t budge
*Regardless of the fate that awaits
I won’t to regret the things I live for
Because within sadness there is courage
I believe in taking a hold of that light
The pouring tears of the blue sky
Will someday become a smile
The wind following at a fast pace
Will slip through my fingers
The things I believe are still scary but,
But I’m not going to stop
The moon beats softly on my shoulders
And I will even forget getting lost
On the reflected moon road
Even if I wait for a tomrrow of nothing
A hand will give rise to something
And the chosen path will change
These strong feelings now, well up
The tears shed by the blue sky’s
Will surely clear up tomarrow
To where I look up,
That is where I am suppose to start.
I can go anywhere,
If I don’t give up on myself
*Repeat
The pouring tears of the blue sky
Will someday become a smile
Aozora no Namida
Wishing...; 1/15/2006 04:08:00 AM
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Saturday, January 14, 2006
Range was BORING. Spent practically all day doing nothing but slp, eat, and shoot. Didn't even bother to drink much water. Brought pen and paper along thinking that i would write something but all i managed to do was to crumple the sorry book that i brought along. At least everything turned out fine, i got to book out and i get to go for badminton in..8 hours time? Yup. Alls sucky that ends well.
Now lets hope that i don't oversleep...range was actually very tiring although i slept most of the time..Must be the hard wooden benches. :P
Friday night at home
Wishing...; 1/14/2006 04:21:00 AM
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Wednesday, January 11, 2006
FYI, I put the password because i don't want TOTAL strangers to read my blog, not because i want to shut anyone out..
and i met one freaking irritating bugger on the train today..super rude.. =/
Bleah
Wishing...; 1/11/2006 10:06:00 PM
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006
I've finally put a password to my blog, but then, I still don't feel secure enough to type out what I really feel and think. I still tend to censor and moderate stuff or just delete entire posts altogether. Am i that self-conscious? Or is it that I'm too concerned about what others would think of me should they read my blog. Frankly speaking, i know i shouldn't concern myself with stuff like that, but i can't help it.
Anyway, i was about to blog something about my friends. I didn't in the end because i forgot almost everything i wanted to blog about. I guess it had something to do with my mood. Always when I know I want to blog something, its something bad and its when my mood's also bad. By the time i actually get to pen it down, my mood would have lightened up considerably. Maybe thats why I can't really write down what i really really really really felt.
I'm a pessismist, i seldom blog happy stuff haha.. Maybe one day i'll post some really fired up entries...it looks...so different :P.
Anyway, the badminton and dinner outing was really fun. Laughed my guts out at the silly jokes we cracked. Its not really that often that i get to laugh that hard. Sorry karen :P. We should really go out more often :)
Blah, gotta book into camp. This really sucks, being the nocturnal me. will continue next time i get to blog again...
Protected? no?
Wishing...; 1/10/2006 10:10:00 PM
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Sunday, January 08, 2006
Its isn't as bad it seems, but it isn't as good as it sounds either.
The World
Wishing...; 1/08/2006 09:53:00 PM
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Lol, i just copied this whole chunk of text from mixue's blog. A lot of people did that anyway, maybe its true after all...
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you don't recognise is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.
Your opinions have gotten stronger.
You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topic because you cannot seems to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can figure this whole thing out.
Quarter-Life Crisis
Wishing...; 1/08/2006 09:46:00 PM
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I don't know why, but the number of things that can piss me off has like, significantly increased these last few days. I can't seem to stand a lot of things, but being the nice me i just chose not to scream it out loud at people. Sigh, some things are really just common sense... or something very basic...to me at least.
Bad mood for the last few days
Wishing...; 1/08/2006 04:14:00 AM
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Friday, January 06, 2006
Interesting...
Your Life Path Number Is 7 |
7
You are a peaceful and affectionate soul... and by nature rather reserved and analytical.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown.
You will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find.
Intellectual, scientific and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at you own independent conclusion.
This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams.
You dislike crowds, noise and confusion.
You are very thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to be a meet a high standard of performance, too.
You evaluate situations very quickly and with amazing accuracy.
You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone.
Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you are one who tends to follow the directions they seem to guide.
It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people.
You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life.
You really aren't a very social person, and your reserve is often taken to be aloofness.
You actually like being alone, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life.
In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic.
In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive.
A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences.
A negative 7 is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration.
The negative 7 is very selfish and spoiled.
If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of.
At your worst, you feel that the world really does owe you something - or in some way you aren't being fairly treated.
Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits.
This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows.
Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.
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Life path Number?
Wishing...; 1/06/2006 05:27:00 PM
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
Heh, first post in a brand new year. Wonder what the new year's got in store for me.
New Year
Wishing...; 1/01/2006 12:00:00 AM
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